Do the Opposite

"What took you so long in the bathroom?"

"Well, I was doing the opposite of... umm.. pee."

"Ohh, you were doing #2?"

"Yeah!"

Eat Onions

"What makes you special?"

"I like onions! I love eating onions!"

"Okay...!" *draws the little boy eating an onion*

Get Body Freezes

"Are you sick?"

"Yeah, that's because I got a medium ice cream......... and I got a body freeze!"

Sing Happy Birthday

"Today is my dad's birthday!"

"Oh! How are you going to celebrate?"

"HA-aaaappyyy birrrthhhddaayy to youuuuu, happppyyy birrrttthhhddaaayyy to you, happy birthday to daddy! Happy birthday to youuu!"

"Oh.. haha.. very nice!"

"And my gift to him is my love!"

My heart just melted...

Toot

Drags chair across the floor...

"HAHAHA! The chair tooted!"

Are Better?

"Do you ever feel better than everyone except God?  That's how I feel right now!"

Are Going Back to School

Tomorrow's the first day of school! I'm excited to see them all but not excited to wake up early!

Can't wait to see what funny things they have to say this year!

Graduate from Kindergarten

Today is the last official day of Kindergarten! What a bittersweet moment.

Are Not Cute

"Were you cute when you were a baby?"

"Yeah, but not anymore."

Give Nicknames

"Can we call you homie A? How about homie K?" 
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"Mrs. Kwan!!!" 
Another kid whispers to the kid that just called my name, "It's MS. KWAN! Not MRS."

Close Their Eyes

"Mark, close your eyes! Close your eyes really tight... tight as a cheetah, tight as a rhinoceros, tight as a koala!"

Think We Grow Teeth

"My mommy had a black tooth.. and then she grew a silver one."

Smell People's Shoes

I come up the hallway and see two students smelling every other people's shoes.

Apparently, they had a bet to see who can smell people's shoes would mean that they were the best.  Kids........

Name My Phone

Because I have my yellow phone case that I carry with me to gym class.  (There is no clock in there.)  They have named my phone, SPONGEBOB.

Have a Class Pet

They named him Cheeto!

Lose Their Teeth

A kid walks in and he show me that his tooth has fallen out.

Oh, its the little moments that make it for this little guy! :)

Have Bright Eyes

"I didn't get the bright out of my eyes this morning."

What's that?

"When I wake up, I need to get the bright out of my eyes or else I can't see."

Snicker

It is driving me crazy when my students snicker at one another, but I heard this comment today.
A kid starts to snicker at another student.

"Ms. Kwan! Jack snickered again!"

"What happens if you snicker?"

"Umm.... I think you die!" 

Burp

*BURRP!*

"Ew!"

"Sorry.. Excuse me........ Mike, I just burped! hahaha!"

"Hahaha!"

"Do you want to smell it?" *HAAAAAAAAH*

Mike smells it.

Talk

I have four students having their own conversation, thinking that everyone else is listening to them.  They talk, they laugh, and they get angry because they realize that nobody is listening.  So I essentially have 4 conversations going on.  I have only one sane little Kinder that is sitting quietly doing his work.

Send Invitations

"I invited Jeremy and Mark to my birthday party."

"How about me?" 

"I invited some of you." 

Ask About My Day

"How was your day yesterday... at your house?" 

Umm....

Thinks I'm an Agent

"You're cool, like a super spy agent!"

"YOU'RE AWESOME!" 

Say Knock Knock Jokes

"Knock knock"

Who's there

"Orange" or "Banana" or "Brownie"

"Orange who?" or "Banana who?" or "Brownie who?"

"ORANGE BANANA SANDWICH FAT EAT ME CAR WORDS ON MY CAR AND GIANT ATE ME UP WITH RICE AND I HATE RICE! BELLY TINY ANTS BANANA BROWNIE SANDWICH! BIG BUTT SAT ON IT.  MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE, I NEED TO REACH THE TOILET."

*all students fall over and die from laughter*

Go on Trampolines

What did you do this weekend?

"I went on a trampoline in Edmonton and I flew very high and saw Jesus and came back down!"

Talk About Love

After she comes back from the washroom.

"I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT _______________ is falling in love with me!" 

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"You can only have babies when you marry.  My mom is having another baby so she needs to get married again!" 

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Colour With Their Eyes

One of the kids' assignment is to colour a page.  One of my kid starts complaining and says he doesn't want to do it anymore and he starts rubbing his eyes, saying, "My eyes hurt from colouring."

Take Woman Lessons

"Heidi, when school is over and we're waiting for our parents, let's talk about woman lessons!"

What are woman lessons?

"They're swimming lessons."

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Need Comfort

I have never had a kid ask for a hug after he gets in trouble with me. It caught me off guard and I couldn't believe what he said.  Well at least, he doesn't fight me when he gets in trouble.

Likes Maize

In the morning, we are having prayer time and I ask for prayer requests.  One kid tells me that his dad is going into the field today for work.

Another kid pipes up and says, "I'm going to the field one day, too, .............................to pick corn!" 

Write Cards

So cute! This little kid challenged himself to write the words I wrote on the board.  These cards are so wonderfully made and I am so proud of the effort he put into it.

Make Excuses

"Did you run in the hallways?"

"Yup! The ground pushed me and made me run."